Raining

Today sucks because

1) I failed my chem paper
2) Because of this fail my overall GPA for chem is going to be lower than 2.0.
3) Because of that I emo'd during CCA, probably screwing things up with a few people further  and I feel super guilty now
4) And finally, worst thing is getting told off by parents about how my seniors got scholarships to all over the world and the number of As they get and the number of interviews they've been through to get places in top universities.
5) ...The saddest thing is to disappoint my parents. I've let them down again.

Okay, okay. I know my problem perfectly well. I am a hopeless internet addict, I don't study, I feel conceit easily, I'm too proud, I expect to get grades by taking a few glances at revision materials at the last minute.

I am lazy.

I'm not good at art, music, or sports. Now my academics officially suck, as well.

I have no goal for life.

How can I compete with those people out there? It's just plain hopeless no matter how you look at it. I mean, I know you're supposed to work hard and get repaid, but that's the problem. I got into a good school alright, but that was only cause my parents were on my heels and pushed me hard. I can't seem to find my own motivation to study, or do something that actually is worth doing.

I don't know, prospects of a future seem bleak. I'm at a loss. I do know what I can do, but I don't know...

Argh. Frustrating.